Exorcising demons, how to deal with panic attacks and anxiety
I recently had an experience where I ended up coaching a loved one through an extremely disturbing panic and anxiety attack, which lasted for about 24 hours. The experience taught me a lot and made sense of a lot of other historical experiences I’ve already had in my life time too.
I could see this panic and anxiety as a DEMON taking the person over, overwhelming them, swamping them, blocking out all rational / logical thought processes and almost drowning them in demonic thought loops and repetitive patterns that were actually getting suicidal and incredibly self-destructive in their nature.
The person could not calm themselves down and could not break free from the grip of the demon, for about 24 hours. It felt pretty horrific, and to be honest my first reaction was flight - to reject the person (who was spewing personal attacks and emotion bile at me), to end the relationship, walk away, give them the chop (as I have done with others in my lifetime) and get my own self to safety first (survival instinct).
However I didn’t do that, I sat with it, I sat with them, I allowed them to spew all the emotional bile out, I witnessed their pain and excruciating mamae which clearly was overtaking them in the moment. I separated myself personally and just allowed them to be in their pain, tears, suicidal words, and self harming tendencies - even though they were also personally attacking me during the process (which was frightening and hurtful for me too).
After some hours of hardcore purging (letting out poisonous koorero and feelings from deep within them) I managed to get them to take a herbal sleeping pill and lie down in bed, I got them to put on some relaxing healing meditation music on youtube to help change up the energy in their space.
I advised them to focus only on their breathing, deep breaths one at a time, and told them the only thing they had to worry about or focus on was getting to sleep (instead of the other 50,000 thoughts of panic swirling around in them), breathing, trying to relax and getting through that one night to the next day.
They did manage to lie down and breathe, and listen to the music but they were not able to go to sleep properly, their sleeping was fitful and sporadic (just small moments before they would wake up again). At least they were physically safe in that moment, in their bed.
They made it to the next day / morning, looking like they had been in a fight, tired and worn. They had been in a fight, an internal fight - exorcising a demon from within them - no wonder they looked exhausted the next day!
The next morning I myself had to go through my own purging process, responding to all of the vile things they had said to me which had hurt me deeply, expressing my own anger and reaction to their disturbing treatment of me during their panic attack.
How did I do this? I wrote it down in my own private book - I did not need to have a conversation with them about it at that time - I only needed to talk to myself about it. I freestyled my own stream of consciousness response to them, wrote and wrote and wrote down my own thoughts, reflections and reactions to everything they had said and done - but I did not share that with them, nor did I need to.
My purging process was personal, private and able to be done by me alone, not with the other person.
Writing out mamae and trauma, rage, anger, hurt, pain, and negative emotions in private is one of the most powerful and cathartic things you can do for yourself, in a safe way without hurting anyone including yourself. This moves the emotion OUT OF YOUR BODY and onto the paper, this exorcises the demon from within yourself and onto a harmless page. This traps the demon in a safe container!
Writing it ALLLLLLLLLL out releases you from the grip of the demon, from the repetitive thoughts that have no where else to go until you RELEASE them out of the darkness (internally) into the light of day (externally on the page). This very SIMPLE exercise frees you up, clears you, gives that dark energy somewhere else to go instead of remaining trapped in your body where it will stay (and develop ten more heads - physical and mental illnesses) if you don’t give it another option of somewhere safe to go to for TRANSMUTATION.
This is just one reason why I believe strongly in art therapy as a solution for many of us (myself included obvs) - writing is a form of expression and art after all.
So anyway, after I had written it out and reflected within myself for a few hours (plus got a massage - another POTENT form of healing in my view), I was then able to talk clearly with the person involved when they came back to me later that next day. I was able to clearly communicate my response in a non-attacking way that they could deal with and integrate into their own self-awareness.
After more koorero with that person, I then guided them to go through the exact same process themselves - purging on paper instead of directed at me, and doing so regularly. The next time they feel the panic and anxiety coming on, instead of helplessly succumbing to it - take action - start writing down those thoughts and moving those thought forms (demonic thought forms) out of your energetic bodies. I advised them to take their power back and research panic and anxiety in the same way that one would take action and research cancer if they realized that they were afflicted with cancer.
Now, not only was this episode during the recent Scorpio Full Moon, but it was also the first day of them quitting smoking (a 20 year habit for them!!)
Through this episode (which could have been disastrous) I started to understand addiction more, and the links between demonic energy and addiction. In the height of the distorted thinking and vile purging of deep and old trauma and mamae in this persons out-coming koorero, it really was like witnessing a demonic possession, and the struggle between the persons lighter nature trying to hold on for dear life, and the demons last ditch attempts at staying inside of the body/mind of the human - reacting violently to its own exorcism through koorero and expression.
So your main tools are:
BREATHE, focus on your breathing ONLY
SLEEP, focus on getting to sleep ONLY (and take a herbal sleeping pill from the supermarket)
Relaxing music - changing up the energy in your space
LIE DOWN - don’t try to do anything else
SOFT TOYS - I advised the person to cuddle a soft toy once I had got them to lie down in their bed - I had this idea from witnessing how my 5 year old daughter gets comfort and relief from a soft toy (might sound crazy but when you are faced with a deeply distressed adult - I will try anything to soothe them, I don’t give a fuck how silly it may appear)
EMOTIONAL PURGING / DEMONIC EXORCISM THROUGH WRITING ON PAPER (you don’t actually need to have a conversation with the people involved in triggering your panic/anxiety/trauma - and expecting them to ever apologise or somehow fix/soothe your feelings is unrealistic and keeps you a VICTIM FOREVER WAITING ON SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER COME).
STUDY UP ON YOUR AFFLICTION AND TAKE ACTION just like you would when faced with a physical ailment such as cancer
SEEK THERAPY of some kind that SUITS YOU (don’t expect your regular friends or family members to be equipped to deal with you trying to offload your demons onto them)
CREATE SOMETHING - transmute / transform that energy into something light, useful, constructive
PHYSICAL BODYWORK of your choice (I use massage, you may prefer something else)
This may sound obvious and fortune cookie like in its simplicity, however after going through this process myself and with this person and seeing how it actually worked for them - from suicidal one night to empowered and creative a few days later, I am obligated to share my learnings on this matter that AFFECTS A LOT OF PEOPLE IN PRIVATE.
I am also reminded of the whakatauki ‘KIA PATUA TE TANIWHA O TE WHAKAMAA’ and the likening of SHAME with a TANIWHA which can also be likened to a DEMON (if you think creatively rather than literally as I do).
So, how do we obliterate the DEMON that is SHAME? First of all realize and admit that SHAME is a form of DEMONIC ENERGY. When you use the term DEMON it has a serious feeling to it and it makes you realize that you are dealing with something serious, tricky, deceptive, slimy, hidden, dark - something that needs to be faced head on with an arsenal of tools, and AWARENESS - something that needs to be bought into the light of day (expressed EXTERNALLY IN A SAFE AND CREATIVE WAY).
Demons thrive in darkness, silence, HIDING, the unspoken and the unseen. The opposite of darkness is lightness, the opposite of silence is talking, the opposite of HIDING is showing/expressing.
If you want to exorcise your demons force them out into the light of day through creative expression within a safe, contained environment, preferably with trustworthy and compassionate guides. Do not look outside of yourself to the source of the demon for help - only YOU have the power to KILL your own particular demons, in your own unique way.
The benefit of doing something creative with that energy once you have expressed it is that, this is how you TRANSMUTE and TRANSFORM the energy into light from darkness (step 2), rather than merely just expressing it (which is only step 1).
This blog in itself is an example of how I personally have done something creative to TRANSMUTE the energy of anxiety/trauma/addiction/panic/stress/mamae etc into something light and helpful to others. What is something creative that YOU COULD DO with the same intention?
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